On the subject of Downton Abbey

So, I've been watching Downton Abbey. Now, I'm only four episodes in so don't tell me anything. (Yes, I'm one of those super annoying people who, at the mention of whatever show I'm 3 seasons behind on, I stick my fingers in my ears and run from the room screaming "Lalalalalala!!!!")

Nine minutes into the first episode, Kevin looked at me and said "I can't understand a word they're saying." And 14 minutes in, he looked and me and said "I'm bored," and went off to find the best dessert option in the kitchen. So, this will be a show I watch by myself. Which is fine. I have Downton Abbey. Kevin has Walking Dead. This kind of explains our relationship. I'm early 19th century England. He's post-apocalyptic zombie world. It's a match made in heaven, truly.

Downton Abbey is a great show, so far. I love the characters already, but I especially am fascinated by how it took an army of people who dedicated their lives to running a household. There were people to cook, clean, tend the fireplaces, drive the cars, serve the tea and even dress the family, who, for the most part, lived a life of leisure - horseback riding, strolling in the garden and arranging marriages. The maids, butlers, footmen, cooks and valets would run around like mad, anticipating each and every need, rushing off to answer whatever request bell might ring at any hour. It was someone's job to pull the corsets tight and fasten the gentlemen's cuff links. So fancy just to have dinner at home with the immediate family! I can't imagine agreeing to wear a corset period, let alone just to hang out with my parents.

I was thinking about all of this today as I cooked dinner, packed tomorrow's lunches, gathered the 11 pairs of shoes that were somehow in my kitchen and fed the cats - all after putting in a day at the office. And I thought to myself...if I had even one person to, like, braid my daughter's hair while she whines about it, get me a clean pair of socks and change the cat litter...it would certainly be helpful. But - what would I do instead? I'd love to sit down and, say, watch a zillion episodes of Downton Abbey or read this week's Entertainment Weekly (all the latest on movies, music and TV without the trashy gossip!) But I would totally feel guilty sitting around while someone was doing "my" work. I would feel like I needed to alternately apologize to them and thank them repeatedly. I certainly wouldn't be able to relax.

I don't need someone to help me with the things I do to keep our family moving. I don't mind hair braiding, taco-making or even the litter box duties. I just need more time to do these things. However, if someone wants to be responsible for emptying the dishwasher (because I really, really hate doing that) come on over. I'll make you tacos.

On the subject of TV

My relationship with TV has been an on again off again romance. As a child, I mostly eschewed cartoons in favor of playing outside. But around middle school when body parts are growing rapidly, hormones rear their ugly head and one makes poor choices in hair salons, I got pretty into TV. Everything from Divorce Court to Oprah to the comforting TGIF prime time lineup. In 88-89, basically on a Friday night, unless my ONE friend wanted to go roller skating, it was pretty much going to be me, Balki and Cousin Larry. It was helpful to have something that kind of felt like company before I was cool enough to have much. (I don't know if I ever actually hit "cool" but I somehow figured out that confidence was an acceptable substitute and have been going with that ever since to varying degrees of success.)

In college, TV was out. Way out. I had absolutely no idea who Dawson was and I could not pick any of the Party of Five cast out of a line up. Still! That whole mid 90s TV era is Greek to me. From the time I gave away my tiny television my Freshman year, until I got married in 2006, I did not own a television. I just didn't need one. I didn't use one at all until 2004, when my friends and I discovered the crack-level addiction that is 24. For weeks, I ate, breathed and dreamed Jack Bauer. How, for example, if I had a dog, I'd name it after him.

When I first got married, my husband and I religiously watched The Sopranos, Six Feet Under and Lost. These were all such high-quality, engaging shows with great writing and acting. I found myself thinking about the characters from Six Feet Under, frequently. It felt like they lived right down the street and any one of them could wander into my kitchen at any moment. Sadly, that never happened. But I loved those shows and I miss them.

Motherhood does weird things to tv watching. On the one hand, we didn't want to expose Little Miss to too much tv, so we mostly kept it off. But when you are up with a fussy baby at 3am with no sleep in sight, you just stare lifelessly at whatever you can find that doesn't have sex and violence in it in the middle of the night. Let me tell you - slim pickin's. You're basically limited to the movie Mama Mia and infomercials. I almost called for a set of those knives once - what can I say? Sleep deprivation makes a crazy person out of anyone.

Recently, I have discovered a few shows that I really like via Netflix streaming. I watched all of Once Upon a Time Season 1 a month or so ago. Despite my skepticism that a grown up show about Fairy Tales could be all that interesting, I really got into it. I began to think about the characters when I was away from them a little bit - it felt nice to know that the odd decent narrative or two is still out there to enjoy. A couple of weeks ago, I started Season 1 of Revenge. I may have found my favorite character, ever, in the female protagonist, Emily Thorn. She does bad things for good reasons. So much to consider, in the realm of moral dilemma! I used to think fiction (books and movies) were kind of a waste of time. I favored theology, self-help and how-to type books in the name of attempting to become a "better" person, whatever that means. But what I've realized about good fiction - it makes me think a lot more than those books that told me what to do and what not to do ever did. Fascinating characters, impossible choices, redemption. There is wisdom to be found in a good story.